The Healing Thread
When EMDR Helps(and When It Might Not Be the First Step)
Sometimes the hardest part of healing isn’t what happened — it’s how your body learned to survive. This post explains why trauma responses make sense, and how healing can begin without forcing yourself to relive the past.
1/25/25
If you have been hearing about EMDR and wondering whether it is right for you, you are not alone.
Many people come to therapy knowing something is wrong but feeling unsure about what kind of support they actually need.
EMDR is often talked about as a powerful trauma therapy, which can make it sound like the obvious next step. But ethical, effective
EMDR work is not about rushing into trauma processing.
Sometimes EMDR is incredibly helpful.
Sometimes it is not the first step.
And both can be true without anything being wrong with you.
What EMDR is actually designed to help with
EMDR works best when distress is connected to unprocessed memories that are still activating the nervous system in the present.
EMDR may be especially helpful if you experience:
Strong emotional reactions that feel bigger than the situation
Repeating patterns in relationships that you cannot seem to change
Flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive memories
A sense that your body reacts before your mind can catch up
Longstanding anxiety that does not respond to insight alone
In these cases, EMDR helps the brain reprocess experiences that were never fully integrated at the time they happened.
Why EMDR is not always the first step
This part matters.
If someone is overwhelmed, dissociating, or living in constant survival mode, going straight into trauma processing can feel destabilizing instead of helpful.
EMDR is not about pushing through.
It is about working within what your nervous system can tolerate.
Before EMDR processing begins, many people need support with:
Emotional regulation
Grounding skills
Building a sense of safety
This is not a delay.
This is preparation.
Signs your nervous system may need more support first
EMDR may not be the first step if you notice:
You feel emotionally flooded very quickly
You shut down or go numb when emotions come up
You struggle to stay present during stressful conversations
You feel unsafe in your body most of the time
Daily life already feels barely manageable
In these cases, therapy often focuses first on helping your system feel more resourced and regulated.
This is how EMDR becomes effective later instead of overwhelming now.
What ethical EMDR therapy actually looks like
Thoughtful EMDR therapy is paced, collaborative, and responsive.
A trauma informed therapist will:
Assess readiness rather than assume it
Spend time in early phases when needed
Adjust based on your responses, not a rigid timeline
Pause or slow down if your system needs it
Help you build skills alongside insightThere is no prize for starting EMDR quickly.
If you are wondering whether EMDR is right for you
It is okay not to know yet.
A good starting place is asking:
What am I hoping will change
How does my body respond to stress right now
Do I feel safe enough to explore the past
Do I trust my therapist to go at a pace that feels manageable
EMDR can be incredibly effective when used at the right time, with the right support, for the right reasons.
Ready to take the next step
If you are considering EMDR or trauma focused therapy and want help deciding what approach fits you best, you do not need to have everything figured out.
I offer a free introductory call where we can talk through what you are experiencing, what support might help, and whether EMDR is appropriate right now or later in the process.
Trauma informed therapy meets you where you are and helps you move forward when your nervous system is ready.