The Healing Thread
When EMDR Helps(and When It Might Not Be the First Step)
Sometimes the hardest part of healing isn’t what happened — it’s how your body learned to survive. This post explains why trauma responses make sense, and how healing can begin without forcing yourself to relive the past.
1/25/25
If you have been hearing about EMDR and wondering whether it is right for you, you are not alone.
Many people come to therapy knowing something is wrong but feeling unsure about what kind of support they actually need.
EMDR is often talked about as a powerful trauma therapy, which can make it sound like the obvious next step. But ethical, effective
EMDR work is not about rushing into trauma processing.
Sometimes EMDR is incredibly helpful.
Sometimes it is not the first step.
And both can be true without anything being wrong with you.
What EMDR is actually designed to help with
EMDR works best when distress is connected to unprocessed memories that are still activating the nervous system in the present.
EMDR may be especially helpful if you experience:
Strong emotional reactions that feel bigger than the situation
Repeating patterns in relationships that you cannot seem to change
Flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive memories
A sense that your body reacts before your mind can catch up
Longstanding anxiety that does not respond to insight alone
In these cases, EMDR helps the brain reprocess experiences that were never fully integrated at the time they happened.
Why EMDR is not always the first step
This part matters.
If someone is overwhelmed, dissociating, or living in constant survival mode, going straight into trauma processing can feel destabilizing instead of helpful.
EMDR is not about pushing through.
It is about working within what your nervous system can tolerate.
Before EMDR processing begins, many people need support with:
Emotional regulation
Grounding skills
Building a sense of safety
This is not a delay.
This is preparation.
Signs your nervous system may need more support first
EMDR may not be the first step if you notice:
You feel emotionally flooded very quickly
You shut down or go numb when emotions come up
You struggle to stay present during stressful conversations
You feel unsafe in your body most of the time
Daily life already feels barely manageable
In these cases, therapy often focuses first on helping your system feel more resourced and regulated.
This is how EMDR becomes effective later instead of overwhelming now.
What ethical EMDR therapy actually looks like
Thoughtful EMDR therapy is paced, collaborative, and responsive.
A trauma informed therapist will:
Assess readiness rather than assume it
Spend time in early phases when needed
Adjust based on your responses, not a rigid timeline
Pause or slow down if your system needs it
Help you build skills alongside insightThere is no prize for starting EMDR quickly.
If you are wondering whether EMDR is right for you
It is okay not to know yet.
A good starting place is asking:
What am I hoping will change
How does my body respond to stress right now
Do I feel safe enough to explore the past
Do I trust my therapist to go at a pace that feels manageable
EMDR can be incredibly effective when used at the right time, with the right support, for the right reasons.
Ready to take the next step
If you are considering EMDR or trauma focused therapy and want help deciding what approach fits you best, you do not need to have everything figured out.
I offer a free introductory call where we can talk through what you are experiencing, what support might help, and whether EMDR is appropriate right now or later in the process.
Trauma informed therapy meets you where you are and helps you move forward when your nervous system is ready.
You’re worried EMDR will make you feel worse.
Worried EMDR might make you feel worse before it gets better? Learn why temporary discomfort can mean your brain is finally healing.
11/12/2025
You finally take the step.
You start EMDR therapy, ready to feel lighter — but instead, you feel more emotional, tired, or overwhelmed.
If that’s you, take a breath. Feeling worse for a little while doesn’t mean therapy is failing. It often means your brain is beginning to heal.
Why You Might Feel More Emotional After EMDR
EMDR helps your brain reprocess stuck memories — the ones that never fully got filed away as “over.”
When those memories begin to move, old emotions, sensations, or thoughts can temporarily rise to the surface.
It’s not regression. It’s your system finishing what it couldn’t finish before.
Your Nervous System Is Doing Its Job
During EMDR, your brain accesses stored material connected to past distress.
That can make you feel:
More tired than usual
Extra emotional or tearful
Irritable or restless
Detached or spacey for a short time
These are signs that your nervous system is shifting from suppression to processing.'
Your brain is literally trying to file away what used to feel like danger.
Safety First: What to Expect
A well-trained EMDR therapist will never rush you.'
Sessions begin with stabilization and resourcing — learning how to ground and regulate before touching distressing material.
You should never feel pushed past your limits.
If you do, that’s something to bring up with your therapist right away.
The goal is steady healing, not overwhelm.
When the Hard Part Means It’s Working
Feeling temporarily worse can be a sign that your system is active, not broken.
It’s similar to cleaning out a wound — uncomfortable at first, but part of long-term healing.
The emotions that surface during EMDR were already inside you.
Therapy just gives them a way out.
You’re Not Doing It Wrong
If you feel heavier after a session, remind yourself:
Your brain is adjusting to safety after years of surviving danger.
That takes time.
Healing isn’t linear, but it’s worth it.
You’re not falling apart — you’re reassembling yourself in real time.
Ready to learn what to expect from EMDR therapy?
Get answers and support before you start.
Schedule a free consultation to explore how trauma-informed EMDR therapy can help you move from activation to integration.
How EMDR Works When You Feel Stuck in Talk Therapy
You understand your patterns but still feel stuck. Learn how EMDR helps when talk therapy alone isn’t enough.
11/5/2025
You’ve done the work.
You’ve talked about your past, named your patterns, and gained insight into why you react the way you do.
So why does it still feel like you’re stuck in the same emotional loops?
If you’ve ever left a session thinking, “I understand it, but I still feel it,” you are not alone. Insight and change don’t always happen at the same pace, especially when trauma has trained the body to stay on guard.
When Talking Isn’t Enough
Talk therapy focuses on thoughts, beliefs, and understanding. Those tools are powerful, but some memories are stored deeper than words can reach.
When the nervous system has been through repeated stress or trauma, it doesn’t just remember events. It remembers sensations, feelings, and moments when the body felt unsafe. That’s why you might intellectually know you’re safe but still feel anxious, tense, or on edge.
How EMDR Goes Deeper
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) helps your brain finish what it could not process before.
Through gentle bilateral stimulation (eye movements, tapping, or tones), EMDR activates the brain’s natural healing system.
You don’t have to relive every detail of the past. The goal is to help your brain reprocess the memory so it can move it from “this is happening now” to “this happened, and I survived.”
Clients often describe feeling lighter, calmer, and more grounded as their body begins to trust that the past is truly over.
What Readiness Looks Like
You don’t need to be falling apart to start EMDR. You just need curiosity and capacity.
Before beginning reprocessing, EMDR starts with preparation and resourcing. This means building emotional tools, grounding strategies, and safe imagery that help your nervous system stay anchored.
Safety comes first. Pacing is part of the process.
When You Feel Stuck, It Doesn’t Mean You’ve Failed
If talk therapy gave you awareness but not relief, you haven’t done anything wrong.
It simply means your healing may need to include the body as well as the mind.
Your story doesn’t end with “I understand why.”
It continues when your body finally feels that truth too.
Ready to go beyond insight and feel actual relief?
Learn how EMDR can help your brain and body move from stuck to steady.
Schedule a free consultation to see if trauma-informed EMDR therapy is right for you.
What to Expect in EMDR Therapy (From a Therapist Who Gets It)
If you’ve heard of EMDR therapy but aren’t sure what to expect, this post walks you through what actually happens in a session and how it helps your brain and body finally feel safe again.
10/29/2025
You’ve probably heard of EMDR therapy, but maybe you’re not sure what it actually feels like.
If you’ve tried talk therapy and still feel stuck in old patterns, you’re not alone. EMDR isn’t about rehashing your story. It’s about helping your brain and body finally recognize that the danger has passed. (You can learn more about EMDR therapy and how it works here.)
What EMDR Actually Is
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.
It’s a therapy approach that helps your brain process distressing memories in a more adaptive way so they stop feeling like they’re happening right now.
During EMDR, you’ll focus on a memory or belief while engaging in gentle bilateral stimulation such as side-to-side eye movements, taps, or sounds.
This process helps your brain integrate information that got “stuck” during trauma, reducing emotional intensity over time.
What a Typical EMDR Session Looks Like
Here’s what you can expect:
Grounding and preparation: We start by building safety. You’ll learn regulation tools before we go anywhere near difficult memories.
Identifying the target: Together, we choose what memory, image, or belief is linked to current distress.
Processing: Using bilateral stimulation, your brain begins to reprocess what happened, shifting from “I’m not safe” to “It’s over, and I survived.”
Integration and closure: Sessions always end with grounding, reflection, and ensuring you leave feeling stable. (If you’d like to see what this process can look like in my practice, visit the EMDR therapy page for more details.)
What It’s Not
EMDR isn’t hypnosis or reliving trauma in detail.
You’re fully present and in control throughout the process.
Most clients describe EMDR as intense but surprisingly freeing, like their brain is finally catching up to what they already know logically.
Why It Works
Trauma memories aren’t stored like regular memories. They’re fragmented, sensory, and emotional.
EMDR helps reconnect those fragments so your nervous system can recognize that you’re safe now.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. It means remembering without reliving.
A Gentle Reminder
You don’t have to know everything about EMDR to take the first step. You just need a safe space to explore it at your own pace.
If you’re curious about how EMDR therapy in South Carolina could help you move from survival mode to real healing, I’d be glad to talk about what that could look like for you. You can schedule a free consult here.