Why You Can’t Just “Move On” From Trauma
09/21/2025
Most people have heard the phrase, “Just move on.” It sounds simple, but if you’ve lived through trauma, you know it isn’t.
Trauma doesn’t respond to logic. You can’t just will yourself to stop feeling the impact. Trauma lingers in the body and nervous system, long after the mind tries to leave it behind.
The Myth of “Moving On”
Culture tells us that time heals all wounds, but time alone doesn’t process trauma. You may look fine on the outside, but inside, you feel stuck. This isn’t weakness. It’s how survival mode keeps you safe when danger once felt constant.
How Trauma Stays in the Body
Even if your brain knows the danger is over, your body remembers. The nervous system holds on to the past through:
Hypervigilance (constantly scanning for threat)
Tension in muscles or stomach
Sleep issues or restlessness
Emotional flashbacks that seem to come out of nowhere
Your body isn’t trying to punish you. It’s trying to protect you, even when the threat is gone.
Why Willpower Alone Doesn’t Work
You’ve probably tried to “let it go.” Maybe you’ve pushed forward with work, relationships, or distractions. But the nervous system doesn’t heal by force. You can’t outthink survival patterns. Healing requires experiences of safety that slowly teach your body it doesn’t have to stay on guard.
Signs You’re Not “Over It” (and That’s Okay)
You might notice:
Feeling guilty for not being able to “just get over it”
Being triggered by reminders, even years later
Numbing or disconnecting when life feels too much
Struggling to trust that calm moments are real
These are not signs of failure. They are signs that your system is still protecting you.
How Therapy Creates Space to Heal
Therapy offers something that time and willpower can’t. A safe place for your nervous system to begin to stand down.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) helps reprocess old experiences so they lose their grip. Over time, your body learns that rest and safety are possible.
Healing isn’t about erasing your past. It’s about no longer being controlled by it.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t “move on,” remember this: you’re not broken. Your body adapted to survive.
You don’t have to carry the weight of the past alone. Therapy can help you process what feels stuck and finally move forward in a safe, sustainable way.