The Healing Thread
You’re Not Too Much… You’re Tired of Holding It All Together
You’re not too much. You’re just tired of being the one who holds it all together. Here’s how burnout can hide behind strength… and how therapy can help you finally exhale.
10/26/2025
You’ve always been the one who holds it all together.
You show up, stay steady, and make sure everyone else is okay…even when you’re running on empty.
You don’t mean to hide it; it’s just what you do. People see you as strong, capable, dependable.
But lately, it’s starting to feel like being “the strong one” has become your whole identity.
You’re not too much. You’re just tired.
Tired of holding it together.
Tired of feeling like you can’t fall apart.
Tired of being the calm one when your insides are anything but calm.
It’s not that you want to stop caring… you just want to stop carrying so much.
And maybe, deep down, you’re wondering what it would feel like to be taken care of for once.
When strength becomes survival
Sometimes “high-functioning” is just another word for “running on adrenaline.”
You’ve learned how to stay busy so you don’t have to slow down.
You’ve learned how to smile when you’re breaking inside.
You’ve learned how to earn rest by overextending yourself first.
It’s not because you’re broken.
It’s because your nervous system has learned that being needed feels safer than being vulnerable.
Healing doesn’t mean becoming less strong.
It means learning that strength and softness can coexist.
That rest doesn’t make you weak.
That you can still be reliable….. and human.
Healing might look like:
Saying “I need help” before you collapse.
Letting someone else hold space for you.
Trusting that your worth isn’t tied to what you produce or fix.
You don’t have to earn care. You deserve it just by being here.
A gentle reminder
You don’t have to keep holding it all together alone.
Therapy can help you find steadier ground… the kind that doesn’t rely on overfunctioning to feel safe.
If this feels familiar, let’s talk about what healing might look like for you.
When Rest Feels Unsafe
If rest makes you anxious or guilty, your body may not associate slowing down with safety. This post explores why rest can feel unsafe and how to rebuild trust with your body.
10/19/2025
You want to rest, but you can’t relax.
You clear your schedule, close your laptop, and tell yourself you’re going to slow down. But the moment you sit still, your mind races. You start scrolling, cleaning, planning. You feel restless or guilty for not being productive.
It’s confusing because you know rest is supposed to help…yet somehow it feels worse.
Rest can feel unsafe when your body has learned that slowing down equals risk.
If you grew up in chaos, instability, or constant pressure, your nervous system may have linked stillness with danger. Maybe quiet moments were when something bad happened, or maybe rest led to criticism or shame.
So now, even as an adult, your body still scans for what could go wrong when things finally get calm.
Busyness can become a form of protection.
If your body equates movement with safety, staying busy feels easier than slowing down. Productivity numbs anxiety. Control feels like calm.
But when you’re always “on,” your nervous system never gets a chance to reset. The exhaustion deepens, and the idea of rest becomes even harder.
How to start making rest feel safe again
You don’t have to go from burnout to stillness overnight. Safety is built through small, consistent experiences.
Try:
Micro-rest: Two minutes of stillness, noticing your breath or surroundings.
Gentle movement: Stretching, slow walking, or rocking in a chair to transition into calm.
Soothing signals: Weighted blanket, warm drink, or grounding texture.
Permission reminders: Tell yourself, “It’s okay to pause. Resting keeps me steady.”
The goal isn’t to rest perfectly. It’s to teach your body that slowing down doesn’t mean danger anymore.
A gentle reminder
Your worth isn’t measured by output. You don’t have to earn rest by running yourself to empty.
Healing starts when you let yourself rest… even when your nervous system isn’t sure it’s safe to.
Why Saying “I’m Fine” Doesn’t Mean You Are
“I’m fine” can become armor. This post explores why high-functioning people say it automatically and how healing starts with honesty, not performance.
10/12/2025
You say “I’m fine” because it feels safer than the truth.
You don’t want to burden anyone. You don’t want to look weak. You don’t even want to open the door to what might spill out if you stop holding it all together.
So when someone asks how you are, “I’m fine” rolls off your tongue before you can even think.
High-functioning people are experts at appearing okay.
You still show up, meet deadlines, and smile in photos. You push through exhaustion and say you’re fine because you’ve learned that competence is how you stay safe.
But underneath the calm surface is the part of you that’s quietly asking for help. The one that’s tired of pretending everything is manageable.
“I’m fine” is often code for survival.
Many trauma survivors grow up believing that being low-maintenance earns love or safety. You might have learned that your feelings are too much or that needing support creates conflict.
Over time, that belief becomes automatic. Your body registers emotional honesty as risk, not relief.
You may not even notice the disconnection because it’s familiar. “I’m fine” becomes the armor that gets you through.
Healing begins with honesty, not performance.
You don’t have to spill everything at once. You don’t have to be endlessly vulnerable. Healing starts with small, honest moments:
Admitting when you’re tired
Saying you need a break
Allowing someone to see the real you, even a little bit
Each time you tell the truth about what you feel, your nervous system learns that safety and honesty can coexist.
A gentle reminder
If you’re tired of saying “I’m fine” when you’re not, therapy can help you reconnect with what’s real and learn to feel safe being seen.
Why Pretending You Feel Fine Feels So Exhausting
Pretending to be fine when you’re not is exhausting. This blog explains why it drains your nervous system and how therapy helps you feel like yourself again.
9/14/2025
You know that moment when someone says, “But you seem like you’re doing great!” and you smile, nod, maybe even laugh a little… while inside you’re barely holding it together?
On the outside, you look calm, capable, and collected. On the inside, you’re anxious, overwhelmed, or just plain tired. Pretending to feel fine when you’re not isn’t just emotionally draining. It’s one of the most exhausting things your nervous system can do.
The Hidden Cost of Performing
When you spend your days putting on a mask of “I’m fine,” you’re using energy on two levels:
Managing your actual stress
Covering it up so no one else notices
That double effort wears you down. You might even end the day more tired from the act of pretending than from the stress itself. Over time, this constant performing can leave you disconnected from yourself and unsure of what you really feel anymore.
Why the Nervous System Hates Pretending
Our bodies are wired for survival. When you’re stuck in survival mode, your nervous system works overtime to protect you. For many people, that protection looks like keeping it together on the outside: calm voice, steady face, doing the things you “should.”
But here’s the catch: your nervous system doesn’t actually calm down just because you look okay. The tension still lives underneath. Your body is holding the anxiety, sadness, or fear even while you’re smiling in the meeting or cracking a joke with friends.
It’s like running two programs at once on your computer: the one you see on the screen, and the one running silently in the background. That background program is what’s eating up all your bandwidth.
The Praise That Keeps You Stuck
To make it harder, people often praise the mask:
“You’re so strong.”
“You always have it all together.”
“I wish I could handle things like you do.”
Part of you may feel proud of that. But another part knows if they really saw you, if they knew how much you’re struggling just to get through the day, they might not say those things.
That disconnect can feel isolating. Instead of feeling supported, you end up feeling more alone.
Why It Feels Never-Ending
The more you pretend, the harder it is to stop. You worry that if you let the mask slip, people will see the “real” you — the one who feels anxious, angry, sad, or exhausted — and they’ll think less of you.
But here’s the truth: pretending doesn’t actually protect you. It just keeps you trapped in a cycle where no one can show up for the real you, because no one gets to see the real you.
What You Need to Hear
If you’re exhausted from pretending, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’ve been carrying too much, for too long, without a safe place to set it down.
You deserve rest. You deserve spaces where you don’t have to say “I’m fine” when you’re not. You deserve to feel like yourself again — not just the version of you who’s performing strength.
A Different Way Forward
Therapy here isn’t about fixing you. It’s about helping you feel safe enough to stop performing and start being. It’s about giving your nervous system permission to breathe.
You don’t have to keep proving you’re okay. You don’t have to keep carrying it all alone.
If you’re tired of pretending you’re fine, you don’t have to keep carrying it alone. Let’s talk about what healing might look like for you. Schedule a free 15-min consultation →